Bennett

Now, this may sound odd to you coming on the heels of our last write-up where we took the stand that as a nation, we require to "recapture the sound of our children among us just like we used to up at old Fai...

We ought to get rid of from our minds a few phrases when we are creating decisions about how we will be raising our children. They are the sayings like: "When I was a kid..." and "If I had done that when I was a kid, my dad would have..." or "Back when we had been in school they used to..."

Now, this may possibly sound odd to you coming on the heels of our last article where we took the stand that as a nation, we require to "recapture the sound of our kids amongst us just like we utilised to up at old Fairview Hall." There is an critical distinction here. As parents we must by no means enable ourselves to fall into the trap of utilizing "simply because it was done prior to," or "it has usually been that way," or "that was the way my parents did it," as the sole justification for our actions with our kids. It is crucial that we have a sound behavioral, moral, spiritual, ethical, or legal justifications for the actions we are teaching to or demanding of our children. We ought to be capable to clarify to our children in a really logical way, why we are asking them to behave in a distinct manner. In essence, we must not only choose: 1) WHAT it is that we want our kids to do but we should also decide, two) WHY we want them to do it! "Because it was completed to me," is never ever a excellent adequate cause to repeat it with our children.

There have been a ton of blunders created in the past and we are doomed to repeat them if we are not cautious to think long and hard about the justification for duplicating those actions with our children. Following are a couple examples to demonstrate what we are speaking about.

Two historical occasions demonstrate the obvious difficulties with performing what has often been carried out ahead of. Slavery was prevalent in early America. We certainly would not advocate the continuation of that practice these days basically simply because it was completed prior to. Neither would we teach our youngsters that girls really should

be second-class citizens in the United States even even though they have been not even legally recognized under the Constitution until the 19th Amendment was adopted in the early 20th century. Just saying that women really should not vote only simply because they in no way had in the past was a ludicrous concept.

Likewise, it is foolish for us to tell our youngsters that they ought to wear particular kinds of clothing merely because that has been an appropriate style in the past. The identical goes for hairstyles and a lot of other requirements and customs for behavior. Let's search at establishing dress codes for youngsters.

We are not proposing abandoning all standards of dress for young people but rather, we are saying that we ought to make the requirements logical and explainable in a reasoned sort of way and not just on the "If I had dressed that way my Dad would have killed me," sort of an explanation.

We can have dress codes... but why do we have them is the essential question. Nobody, in their correct thoughts would say that we scrap any sense of awareness of how our youngsters dress themselves. Nevertheless, dressing in a specific way because a prior generation did is rather silly to impose upon our youngsters (unless, of course, we would like to go back and start dressing like our forefathers who wrote that Constitution did, simply because "that is the way they used to do it in this nation.") Hey, let's get a handful of images of ourselves as teens and we can readily see that even we had some rather strange methods of dressing by today's requirements.

The problem is "why?" Why are we asking our children to dress in certain ways?

Right here is a feasible discussion:

"But Dad, why cannot I dye my hair blue (wear spandex shorts to church, put on this provocative Jennifer Lopez top, use four letter words at the mall like the other youngsters, and so on.)?"

"Properly, my kid, you most likely could do that and in a perfect globe it genuinely would not matter. But, we do not live in a best planet. We reside in a globe that has a few flaws: one particular of them being that most individuals in this globe make a ton of snap judgments based upon some rather narrow preconceived concepts. It is a reality that most of the folks you meet will not be capable to see beyond the blue hair (or loud dress, etc.) to get to know you. Numerous of those same folks are in a position to control the circumstances of your life or pass judgments about you that have a enormous influence upon your life. For the same reason that it would be a negative idea to wear a ball cap to a funeral, it is a bad idea to dye your hair blue... most men and women would interpret it wrongly. A ball cap at a funeral would be viewed by most as being really disrespectful of the particular person becoming honored by the funeral. Blue hair would likewise be interpreted by most folks as a sign of disrespect for other people."

"But dad, that's just the point, I'm attempting to show my individuality. I never want to just be like absolutely everyone else."

"Great son, I am all in favor of you being a one particular-of-a-kind person, but any individual can dye their hair. Why not distinguish your self by getting definitely exceptional at one thing? Or why not attempt to undo some terrible incorrect accomplished by society? Why not distinguish your self by making the planet a much better spot? I'd love to assist you. What is the result in that you would like to pick? If the only way that you can come up with to make oneself different is dying your hair, I would be disappointed in you simply because you are such a unique person with so a lot to supply." homepage

Let us, as parents, turn out to be their teachers and give them some excellent solid factors to choose to adjust their behavior in good and productive approaches simply due to the fact it tends to make sense to them.